Monday, 2 June 2014

Create the life you dream about

For all of us we all have desires and aspirations 

 


Through many years of studying people i have come to realise we all have one thing in common that we want for our selves and out family's

WE WANT TO BE HAPPY  




Happiness is such an extensive subject that i cant cover every thing here but this info will def get you started x

WHAT IS HAPPINESS

ANTHONY ROBBINS live an extraordinary life
 Happiness means so many things to different people, it could be a goal of changing their physical body , it could be a desire for more materialistic items, health and security for your family,  These things will all contribute to your life's happiness as long as they are worked toward s in a certain way .

This picture indicates the areas we need to constantly grow in to live and Extraordinary life

For me my life is not balanced at the minuet, i am over exercising I'm basically working out 7 days a week. The down side to that for me is that it is wiping me out and its leaving me little or no energy  to carry out all the other things i wish to do with my life
The lack of energy leads to a great sense of  frustration and anxiety for me because i am a perfectionist and a high achiever in what ever i take on, ( i do wish to be super human and be able to do it all ;) the fact that i am struggling with my energy levels has a very negative side as it makes me feel that I'm not doing enough, I'm basically not living up to the high standards i set for my self. 

If only there was a human charger lol oh yeah i think its called sleep :)


My doctor has told me i am trying to be perfect in an imperfect world .. That a story for another day :) 

 If you feel like your stuck in a rut and you are unsure about how to start to create a better life for your self this may help, 
 we have at least 7 different areas in our lives that we need to work on daily, in some of these areas we will be more happy with than others but by progressing in all these areas we can live an extraordinary life.

The idea behind it  is to set your self goals for each of these areas of your life and  and work toward them each day in a way that moves your life forward and and doesn't burn you out. Brian Tracy Says that if there was on important piece of information he could share with us it would be to " write down your goals, make plans to achieve them and work on your plans every single day "

There are 7 areas to focus on these are 
  • Physical 
  • Family
  • Financial
  • spiritual
  • intellectual
  • social
  • career

Today I'm starting fresh with a new Dream/Goal journal and i am going to plan to move myself even further ahead in each of these areas and regain more balance in my life
This technique has been highly effective for me over the years and its almost like we are taking control of the steering wheel and planning for the new journey ahead

When we are working toward bettering our selves in these areas it leads to a sense of calm and certainty, the most effective thing to do is lay out your plans and goals, revise and work on them everyday, this will result in action being taken and moving your dreams into reality.

when we are progressing in our own lives we feel that we are growing and contributing and ultimately this has the positive effect of

 progress = Happiness

 even if its just a little progress every day its like compound interest - when it gathers momentum there will be no stopping it.

We can all live the life we Dream about





Live your best life

Leanne xox







Thursday, 29 May 2014

Do a selfish deed today for yourself !

With this ever busy and crazy world we live in today I would like to advise you one thing today
Do something selfish for your self today .. put your self first and do something that makes you happy
So often we are so caught up in our lives that we for get to breath and take in the world around us
So do something for yourself take time out and have a deluxe bubble bath r go for a walk but not in the sense to burn calories but to actually listen to the world around you with no iphone r ipod and just enjoy the moment
I'm off for my bike ride have an amazing day and choose good thoughts today
Live your best life
Hugs and kisses
Leanne

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

You are Stronger than you know - eating disorders

I get my most inspired thoughts when I exercise.
A few mornings ago It occurred to me that an eating disorder is one of the greatest battles of the mind a person can be faced with

What I know for sure is that if you have an eating disorder then you are stronger than you could possibly know

Bulimia Recovery

The courage, strength, and determination to endure an eating disorder is beyond anything I could ever try and explain and only those faced with an eating disorder can truly understand the pain and suffering it causes, I know that every day I get up out of bed I am faced with the craziest thoughts about weight, exercise and everything else in life.
 An eating disorder really is disordered thinking and disordered eating and I don't say that lightly, although the disordered thinking may not make sense to others it makes perfect sense to us.

 I do my very best everyday to make a conscious decision to have the best day I can, I plan ahead for my day that may include planning my food, making sure everything is in its place ( as much as it can be with kids) making sure I exercise!!!
 I really have a tick box in my head of everything that I need to do in a day to have a good day, when I say a good day I mean no binging and being sick, it takes very little to spark that of some days, other days I'm so strong in my self I feel I could go 12 rounds with it in the ring and it wouldn't have a fighting chance 
But even with all the preparation in the world that sneaky biatch bulimia can railroad me like a train out of control

For any of you dealing with eating disorders,  depression or any other form of mental illness,  know that you are stronger than you could ever imagine,  but also know that in order to conquer the mind you need to nutritionally feed it with positive information on a daily basis just as we need to feed our bodies with healthy nutrition 

My top tip for today is find a healthier social media out let other than facebook, although it is an awesome place to stay connected with family and friends and you will probably find this blog post through facebook, there are a lot of negative people,  stories and negative posts on there that your mind does not need to be consumed with.

My favorite social media site's are instagram and pinterest. There are so many inspiring things on both sites no matter what your Interests are and you can meet some awesome people through instagram ..
 
Have an amazing day and seek out people, and stories to inspire you to live your best life
Lots of hugs and kisses
Leanne


Tuesday, 15 April 2014

I need To Kick some Ass and Pick my self up

I'm just gonna write, Its First thing Saturday morning so i hope this makes sense
This morning is a morning that I'm trying to pull my self together and let the week that has passed, well I'm trying to just let it go, i have my running shoes on and i need to go out the door very soon or those little voices creep in... you know the ones... the ones that are telling us that its to cold to run or a shower would be much nicer than a run, but i choose to defy these thoughts and keep going and keep running

 Here is one of my Favourite videos for when those little voices kick in

Iv gotten a new perspective on life this morning, after one of the most emotional weeks of my life with a seriously rough eating disorder appointment!
The doctor basically told me yesterday that i cant be cured from bulimia that the goal is to manage it, ( While i tend not to take doctors views as gospel, i like to question everything if it doesn't make sense to me ) that was like a breath of fresh air because for many many years that's what iv been doing iv been managing Bulimia and i can look back over the years and see the extremes it has taken on my life, everything from extreme dieting to a crazy weight gains, compulsive exercising and self sabotage in business


My appointment with my so called eating disorder specialist, now i don't say "so called" to be horrible or mean,  its not her fault she doesn't know how to deal with me she just doesn't seem to have the experience or skills needed to deal with the complex issues of bulimia and to be honest I'm a tricky one to master lol

As you may know from my last post i had a bad week and i didn't fill in 3 days of my eating plan,  i actually didn't try and wing it i just left it blank I don't know if that went down to well at my appointment but it was the best I could do at the time

So things started of pretty intense in my eating disorder appointment i explained to Pam ( that's not her name but for the sake of this post i will call her Pam :) ) that in this very moment I'm having the exact emotions that i have when I binge on food and then that's followed by being sick.  I asked her how do i in this exact moment break that urge and that feeling that is so strong it bowls me over time and time again how do I stop this in this minuet in time?

The reply i got was shocking to me !! The reply i got was SILENCE!! Pam couldn't give me an answer!
At that moment my alarm bells started to go off and slowly i started to question Pam's experience with bulimia. Pam then became some what... Hmmm.. i don't want to say defensive but she was defiantly on a different footing with me I could feel the energy change in the room
We went through my diary with a fine tooth comb and  Pam actually  questioned  why i ate my banana at nine last Saturday morning when i usually eat them around 7 ..ehhh that's because my parents are so good that my kids stay with them on a Friday night and i get a wee lie in on a Saturday - which we all need from time to time...!! :)  What was really upsetting is that the more serious issues of my emotional state was not being addressed and for any new form of treatment is not acceptable.

After nit picking through my food diary Pam said to me " I'M NOT A COUNCIL FOR A DIET " now i had already been really emotional through my appointment and i kinda looked at her saying what ?? she said " I DON'T COUNCIL DIETS " and although i cant remember the exact words after this because i was crying and i was an emotional wreak she said something along the lines that she couldn't work with me while i was looking at numbers and counting calories.
                                  !!! IS SHE FREAKING KIDDING ME !!!
WHAT DOES SHE THINK AN EATING DISORDER IS A FREAKING DIET !!??

 So when i told the doctor yesterday what had taken place he said "well that's part of the illness counting calories fears of weight gain and looking at the numbers on the scale" - at least he understands
There was so much more that took place in that appointment which left me wanting to run for the hills and to be totally honest i don't know if I'm going back for another appointment:( Pam actually said during my appointment " well that's hardly a binge " when she was going through my food diary, and to think i thought i was in a safe place, if 5 chocolate bars 4 after eights wafer biscuits and a packet of crisps isn't a binge, although it may have been on the smaller side, i felt like i was being judged and some what attacked .. To tell any one with an eating disorder its hardly a binge is not a very smart thing to do, when actually she had read my diary wrong , i feel she needs to guard her words more carefully !!! I think I may have put her on the back foot by questioning her about  how I should deal with this emotion in that  moment ..
I was looking for tools to take away and work with but Pam couldn't give me them

 So to give you an update my Medication was raised again yesterday i am now on the recommended dosage for Bulimia 60mg of fluoxetine, so who knows, it will def help take the edge off

I have never given up control on my life before like that and left it in the hands of specialists
SO I decided to take my life back into my own hands and not to leave it in the hands of people that don't really know or understand my condition .
 We have been looking into other options and treatments both in Ireland and in England and its looking promising
I would advise every one to take control of their life and not leave it fully in the hands of others at the end of the day we always know whats best for us and nobody will care more about what happens to us than we care our selves
so make good choices today enjoy what you have, enjoy your family, your dog or anything that you hold precious to you. But take control! l i was defiantly open to going through the treatment that i had dreaded for years and to be honest it has been shockingly bad.

 I'm glad iv kept an open mind the medication defiantly helps but isn't the answer, the treatment that is being offer by the NHS is a joke iv actually been feeling worse for it!!!   Its now time to take my life back  and I'm looking forward to the day ahead we have planned with our kids
Live your Best life

lots of love
Leanne

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Is my Eating Disorder specialist gonna kick my ass

Today's the day that i dread so much at the minuet

I don't want to go and see my  Eating Disorder specialist by the way i call her that as i don't know what other title to give her

In my last post i told you guys that i have to keep track of everything i eat times etc i forgot to mention i also have to keep track of my exercise routine

Any way to cut a long story short i have spiraled out of control since probably Thursday of last week and today is now Wednesday . I could actually see my mood changing from the Tuesday but i kept it together until Thursday and then all hell broke loose


I haven't Tracked or wrote down anything iv eaten from Sunday which i now have to do and try and fill in 3 days of eating which i actually want to forget about.. keeping track is so much easier when everything is balanced and I'm eating well .. i don't really want to note down all my slips and slides.. My ED specialist goes through my diary with a fine tooth comb, i feel like a naughty child at school being told off. And don't get me wrong this lady is lovely the fact that I'm such a perfectionist makes my downfalls harder to share

To be honest i don't want to do any more CBT treatment and that exactly how i feel in this moment and iv been feeling like that for the past 2 or 3 days . The thought of going gives me a sick tummy, and anxiety and these are feelings i could be doing with out Ill either come away from today's appointment hating it or it will give me the inspiration t start a new week fresh

Just to let you guys know its not all roses when ever treatment starts my mood can bowl me over and that's what it has done today iv lost all heart in my treatment and i 100% feel my time would be better spent going for another run

Please don't judge i know going to treatment is the right and proper thing to do but there is no point blogging when every thing is all rosy and light Bulimia Comes with really crappy days too

Any way wish me luck hopefully ill return home with a renewed sense of fight and strength for the week ahead .. ill defiantly return with a splitting headache lol its an intense hour and hopefully my ED specialist wont have to kick my ass for the crappy food and exercise diary i have kept ... Fingers crossed i can remember back as far as Sunday and what i ate other wise i might have to wing it lol gotta keep the humour :)

Ill leave you guys with one of my favourite quotes ever

Lee x 


Saturday, 5 April 2014

My bulimia is not going to win !

Every day I'm running the roads trying to win the war against this nasty biatch bulimia nervosa 

I actually thought it would be easier to keep you updated on my journey through my treatment but I was wrong 

Since posting my video on YouTube about my eating disorder iv had the craziest roller coaster of my life iv hit the lowest lows and there were days I didn't know how I was going to get through them 

To give you an idea of what's going on at the min my doctor doubled my medication about 5 weeks ago and to be honest it seems to have helped.
Iv now been with the eating disorder team for 4 weeks, having assessments done and I'm now having treatment called CBT  Cognitive behavioral therapy
Iv two weeks of this completed and the jury is out for the minuet on this I'll keep you posted when I figure out more 

Here is what I have to do every day
I record everything for one meal or snack I have to include the time of day, the place where I ate, was it planned or unplanned , was it a binge, did I vomit or use laxatives and the circumstances and emotions that were going on at the time 

This is an amazing guide for me I can see when I'm eating what I'm eating and I can also see the times when I am sick after eating and the emotions and situation that went with it 

 My plan is to do a 5 mile run this morning I'm just eating my banana at the minute in preparation but here are my eating rules that I have to live by and I just wish to god someone could have told me sooner 

I have a 3 3 3 rule !
Eating disorder plan sheet
I have to eat 6 times a day this includes 3 meals that must contain a carbohydrate  and a protien, 3 snacks, and I have to eat with in a 3 hour period, so I can't go any longer than 3 hours with out eating 

These rules have taken some of the craziness away from my eating and added a lot of structure and removed a lot of the guilt around food and eating, yesterday is an example of a bad day for me I kept nothing in my stomach yesterday and I had a lot of food ( that's another blog post ) but yesterday is gone I need to start my day with my run and have a balanced structured day and get back on track 

I do have really bad bad days, the bad days are a nightmare and the good days can be amazing I've had a lot of the happiest days of my life over the past 3 weeks and I'm loving life my family and my kids , they are my world and I need to keep strong for them the love I have for them is indescribable my heart could burst with happiness I love them that much .

If any of you are having a tough time take comfort in the fact that you are an individual and you are amazing and I really believe a lot of our struggles in life stem from not knowing who we are and wanting validation on who we are, but you know what screw it we are who we are  and go out and ! live your best life ! and be happy :)

have an amazing weekend 

Leanne x

Friday, 28 February 2014

How i wear Skinny Jeans - Pear shaped

Skinny jeans have been the biggest trend of recent years and  there are a lucky few that suit this style but being a pear shaped girl i have to be careful how i wear skinny jeans as they can be one of the most unflattering style for a pear shaped body

Be careful how you wear skinny jeans one of the biggest problems is the MUFFIN TOP which you really want to avoid at all costs

Iv put together a video on some of my tips and tricks on how to wear skinny jeans for the pear shaped ladies

hope you enjoy 



I'm wearing a slightly longer top with a smaller jacket and long boots to create balance in my shape .. Also Add a few eye catching accessories if you wish to draw attention to another part of your body, always accentuate your best features


I'm Wearing a slightly shorter top in this photo so iv had to add heels to lengthen my legs and add some height

hope you got some new ideas from this post if you have any other ideas please share :)

Leanne x

Saturday, 15 February 2014

Exercise Bulimia - how it effects my life

Bulimia effects people in different ways and i guess ultimately it is a control and coping mechanism
my goal with my videos on my eating disorder is to try and explain how it effects me personally as i have found that especially people closest to me are not understating it very well, although they are trying . Bulimia is a very complex matter and it is something i try to make sense of every day
I am posting this as i put on my running gear my goal is to run 4 mile this morning 
 Here is how its effecting me at the minuet through exercise


Thank you for all your support

Thank you to every one that has reached out and wished me well in my treatment for bulimia. I have good days and bad days but i get up in the morning with the hope of making it an amazing day

http://youtu.be/61L6SWuD7-A

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Bulimia - the hardest decision i have ever made

Last week i decided to make a video on my life long struggle with Bulimia
My Bulimia started when i was 15 which is almost 20 years ago and To decide to share my story with the world was the hardest thing iv ever done

On a good note everyone has been so sweet and supportive and although they may not understand my eating disorder the fact that they are willing to try and understand it is amazing

Here is my first video on Bulimia


My intention for these videos is to help create a better understanding of this illness and also to urge others to go and seek help if they need it

If you have any questions you can email me at laalaastyle@gmail.com

Leanne x